Is feeling the guilt of letting the people we care about down normal?

So... here we go, once again.

I thought that after the starting of second semester, things will be better. I wouldn't have to care about my senior secondary marks ever again. But as we all already know, nothing goes exactly as planned.

I never expected that I'll have to face my high-school teachers ever again. Oh! how wrong I was. While a seemingly uneventful visit to my previous school to pay my sibling's fee, I ended up crossing paths with my high-school chemistry teacher. He's a very intelligent and sweet person, One of my most favorite teachers. 

He's an optimist, Just like almost all of my high school teachers. But man... How humiliating it felt to tell them which college I've joined. I was so embarrassed to admit that I've basically got admission into a community college for girls. I just got so anxious that I ended up asking him if I could leave.

I must look like a rude person to him. But It's not that, It's just that I was so embarrassed of myself that I felt like escaping like I always do. I just felt very guilty... as if I am a proof that I am a waste for their effort.

I want to apologize to all my senior secondary teachers and my parents for the way I turned out to be. But I am what I am, and I cannot change the past. But I can apologize for the expectations broken by me. 

You guys are the best.